So that sums up the few minutes I had with her, except for my comments about not even being able to leave town (her reply, why can't you) and my refusing to switch to regular dressings (resulting in the subject line of this update and her saying I wasn't co-operating, I needed to try to it, that there was no way my wound hadn't changed in two months, that there was undermining (it was gone), and basically giving me a huge lecture for wanting to stay on wound vac.  Oh best of all, she said my wound was "superficial" and there was no need for anything other than a dry dressing. 

So end result is I'm no longer on wound vac and I've been forced to switch to daily nursing visits.  Get this though, the daily nursing visits aren't for the big wound (though Carol says they'll be required and Dr McLeod doesn't believe it), they are for the little fistula that formed after they burned off the overgrowth/polyp in the skin fold below my wound!  I now have two dressings!  The one on the main wound is not to be changed unless wet, as the silver dressing they put on is best left on for 3 days to promote healing.  Nevermind that the entire dressing is loose on my tummy and I'm pretty sure that same as last time, the silver has probably fallen out!

Somehow I can't celebrate being off wound vac, as right now all I've agreed to is to try it for a week, though it ended up two weeks when they asked her when I should come back.  I am not convinced this is the right move, but neither do I really want a skin graft.  They seem to think this will give me more freedom, which is does except for the worry it's going to leak and get my clothes all wet and stinky, something I don't have to worry about with wound vac.  They don't seem to think it gives off enough fluid for this to happen.  They've given new instructions for the home nurse, and shown me what they've done.  I'm going to make sure those instructions are followed to a T whether or not it holds as I will have daily nursing anyway and if it doesn't work, I want them to know about it!

My biggest issue with this is I feel trapped by daily dressing changes.  If the nurses don't come right at 8am, I don't have two other days to make up hours at work (yes I know I'm not supposed to worry about that so much, but it comes from having a 95% utilization rate for 6 years!).  Also, it's been so difficult getting a week day nurse at 8am, I have no idea how I'll get a nurse early at least on Sunday so I can go to church.  Yes, the wound vac trapped me in other ways, but at least I trusted it not to get my clothes wet!   I will withhold judgement for now as I don't want Dr McLeod to accuse me of not giving it a chance.  However, I refuse to celebrate being off wound vac until I see the regular dressings are holding AND my wound has shrunk again.  I no longer trust most of the people involved as they've given me good reason not to!  Especially planners at the VON with the nursing schedule!  So right now I'm hoping they'll surprise me and do a better job than the last few months.

I mentioned in one of my updates that I've been working on a gap analysis.  Yesterday I showed the presentation I've been working on to my boss and my project manager and I've been asked to present it in front of all the Infrastructure Solutions managers.  Both are really pleased with what I've done so far.   I'm nearly ready now, and I wanted to do it next week prior to a presentation I've asked them to attend on a product that might help fill some of the gaps even though I have til the end of September to finish.  However, try booking 5 managers for a meeting and see how successful you are!  The PM ended up booking it for the time I will be at my surgeon followup appt as it was the only hour everyone was free in the next two weeks (sad isn't it, we spend far too much of our lives in meetings!).  It's now scheduled for the day after Thanksgiving and if everything goes as planned I'll be on course the remainder of that week.  October will be a very busy month.  I guess this gives me more time to think about my recommendations and also start working on a couple of the gaps I can address as part of my day to day routine.  We will see.  And being busy off work keeps my mind off wound issues!

I had a long talk with my friends Gwen & Vidya tonight.  It was so nice to hear from them, especially Vidya as he's been in India twice in the last month so I haven't spoken with him since July.  They are always encouraging and I value their input in all of these things.  I feel much better about some of what's gone on today.  So tonight I'm thankful for friends - I've had a number of messages today about what's happening and my boss was wonderful - he is concerned about me and as he said, he's selfish, he wants me at work, but he wants me well.  He's not had someone off work before, so just to make sure everything is ok, he's letting our HR partner know my nursing visits have been upped.  For now I'm going to leave them during the day except on days I have to be in the office early, but if the dressing proves easier to get done correctly, I'll consider switching some of the changes to at night.

Please pray that this second little wound fully heals in the next two weeks, and that the larger dressing will not require daily dressing changes or at least not for very long.  Monica seems to think it may temporarily and then it will settle down.  I sure hope so as dressings every 3 days (hopefully really only twice a week) sounds heavenly at this point!

Thanks for all your well wishes and prayers today.